i triple dog dare you...

my first Daring Baker's Challenge: Chocolate Eclairs
w/ Thai Tea Pastry Cream

I was really excited about joining the Daring Bakers and tackling my first assignment. I say was because I made these nearly a month ago (I know, I jumped the gun a little) and the photos have been sitting on my desktop for weeks. It goes without saying that a good amount of my enthusiasm for these eclairs has worn off.
That is not to say that they didn't taste great.. they did.


Instead of going with the chocolate pastry cream, I opted for a thai tea flavor. The filling was a bit of a disaster, it wasn't nearly as thick as I would have liked which in turn made the eclairs themselves look...well..kind of limp

red velvet: a tribute to george costanza and paula deen

Red Velvet Cupcakes

I aquired this recipe from Paula Deen, First Lady of all things artery-clogging.
Suprisingly, the cupcakes themselves don't contain any butter. They does however contain a fair amount of oil making these little beauties incredibly moist. Lord knows there's nothing worse than dry cake and surely Mrs. Deen would never be responsible for that sort of baking tragedy.
Baking Tip a la Paula:
To make buttermilk, add 1 tsp white vinegar to 1 c. milk; let sit 5 minutes.

Her recipe goes as follows:
Granted, I tweaked it a little

2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/2 cups sugar
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon cocoa powder I prefer a little more, maybe 2tbsp
1 1/2 cups vegetable oil
1 cup buttermilk, room temperature
2 large eggs, room temperature

2 tablespoons red food coloring as per usual, ran out. 1 tbsp worked just fine

1 teaspoon white distilled vinegar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Preheat to 350. In a medium bowl, whisk together dry ingredients. In a larger bowl, and being careful not to stain everything within 100 yards, carefully whisk together oil, buttermilk, food coloring, eggs, vinegar, and vanilla. Add the dry to the wet and mix until smooth and combined using an electric hand mixer.
Divide batter between cupcake pans lined with papers (should make about 24). Bake 11 minutes- turn- bake 11 more. Test for doneness with a toothpick.
Frost with whipped cream cheese frosting:

1/2lb c. cheese
1 stick of butter, softened
1 tsp vanilla
1 3/4 c. powdered sugar

"If it were socially acceptable, I would drape myself in velvet."

coastal northwestern vaguely vietnamese summer rolls

There's something really satisfying about growing your own food.
Not only do you have complete control over what goes in it, on it, around it, but there's something else; a whispered, barely audible "fuck you" to the man. A "yeah, that's right I grow my own food. your wilted, waxed, sprayed and soggy veggies aren't wanted here."





Well enough about that. Here's the recipe for the summer rolls:

+round rice wrapper things- briefly dipped in water (do this one at a time)
+butter lettuce- torn into small pieces
+cucumbers-sliced long and thin
+bean sprouts
+beets-cooked, sliced thin (canned is alright)
+fresh mint
Place a fair amount of each ingredient (use your judgement) in the bottom third- center of the now soggy rice wrapper.
Fold in the sides and roll tightly as you would do with say... a cigar.. or ya know- whatever you're into.
Keep them wrapped in damp paper towls until you're ready to serve them- they dry out and get gummy rather quickly.